Pope Francis thinks that homosexuality is a sin, that abortion is a sin, that contraception is a sin, and that all will earn you a spot in Hell. However, in a bold move, the Pope has encouraged the Catholic Church not to talk about these things so much.
In an interview, Pope Francis told a Jesuit journal, "Look, we already know that Catholics hate fags and women. We've been doing a good job of repressing homosexuals to the point of turning them to pedophilia. We've eliminated healthy options for women and their sexual partners. We've done a good job ruining sex for everyone. Let's think of some other area to fuck up."
But many are finding this liberal move to be too much. Said one Bishop, "Why can't we ruin the best part of humanity and verbally rub it in everyone's face that we're doing so? I mean, we didn't pull these rules out of our asses for nothin', did we?"
However, many are finding his views refreshing. One homosexual male had this to say: "For years I felt persecuted by the Catholic church, even though I was raised in the church and considered it my family. Sure, I have been irreparably damaged by them, as have people all across the world of every religion, but now it's nice to know that the new Pope has the dignity to not bring it up as much."
In a related story, a man who beats his wife regularly has vowed not to brag about it as frequently to his friends.
Read the full story here.