Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Donald Trump Can't Decide If He's a Media Whore or an Actual Racist

"It's funny," an unusually reflective Donald Trump told our reporter. "Back when I was picking on Rosie O'Donnell, it was just my way of getting attention, and it made me laugh. I think she even liked it a little." Trump pauses, then adds, "But this stuff with Obama's birth certificate... I think I might really be a racist." When asked if all the "birthers" who didn't have TV shows to promote were undoubtedly racists, Trump said, "Of course."

Read the full story here.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

God Punishes Texas for Ignoring Separation of Church and State

Texas governor Rick Perry is asking his constituents to ask God to intervene in stopping the spread of wildfire caused by hot weather. However, when reached for contact, God himself said, "Why do you think I started those fires to begin with? Texas politicians have been pissing me off for years by blatantly ignoring separation of church and state." God added, "If the fires do stop, it will be natural causes, nothing to do with me. I've already washed my hands of the situation."

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